Possessions: Day 4

Today I discovered something about myself that I didn’t care for. Selfishness. It is an ugly thing.  This is something I really didn’t know I struggled with. I thought this month was going to be my easiest month. I knew we had excess, and I knew I could get rid of it. My problem came when it was giving my best, not my leftovers. 

I found a place that had a specific need that I could fill (thanks to a friend’s friendly advice)… The Pregnancy Assistance Center.  I knew they collected formula, diapers, and baby clothes… I didn’t have any of those. But I was not aware that they collected children’s clothes all the way up to size 6 (I have 4 people in my house that fit that criteria) and they have a need for baby blankets and bedding. I had baby blankets and a crib bedding set I was happy to pass along.  I knew I wanted to deliver today, so I told myself I would only go through two tubs of summer clothes (due to time restraints) and then know this is a resource for after the garage sale.  So I started going through tubs of summer clothes. 

I knew that there were more clothes than the girls could wear (because I remember packing them away last fall thinking they had only worn maybe half of the stuff in their closets) so this would be a good purge.  So I started going through and sorting into 2 piles: Super cute, would probably sell well at the garage sale AND the “other” stuff.  You know the other stuff… play clothes, not super cute, kind of stretched out, maybe the 3^rd or 4^th kid the clothes have been handed down to…. The leftovers.  This (I am very ashamed to admit) was my donation pile. About 6 or 7 outfits in I got that yucky, uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.  You know the one. Where you feel like God is giving you a little nudge… a little “is this really what your giving ME?” whisper. Except it kind of felt like a giant slap in the face. 

This month’s purpose was to purge. It still is, and will continue to be for the entire month.  Any money raised during this month is not going to build a well in Africa, or feed homeless refuges or anything noble or wonderful.  It is going in the home repairs envelope because we are working through the Dave Ramsey plan. We have been saving for 22 months to remodel our first floor. The money was saved, we started working, and now unexpected (or should I say… uncalculated) expenses are here to finish out the project. That is it. (I hope you are not too disappointed with this truth that has just been told.)

This fast’s purpose is to do what is pleasing to the Lord. To take a serious reflection on my life and what God intends me to do with it. To be aware of where I am spending my time, effort, energy and money on and what I make a priority in my life. Grow in Christ and put Him in EVERY area of my life.

I have never been in the situation of a need to clothe my children.  We have been wildly blessed (my children having nine cousins on my side and twenty-two with one on the way cousins on Eric’s side) with hand-me-downs. But I started to think… if I NEEDED clothes, what would make me feel more loved? Going through a stack of someone’s play clothes… their leftovers? Or going through a pile of adorable dresses and matching little shorts outfits that look almost brand new? Now before I get someone saying the “clothes are not important. They are material things and that shouldn’t make you feel loved or unloved.” I know this.  But I also know that if someone was to give me their best rather than what they didn’t want, or didn’t think was worthy… it would make me feel… well I’m not even sure… but like someone cared.

Proverbs 3:9 Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce; It doesn’t say Honor the Lord with your wealth in the collection plate on Sunday and with your leftover hand-me downs to those in need so you can sell the good stuff at the garage sale. So I was very convicted (and ashamed and sad that this was my initial response to the situation) today. God is growing me and stretching me in ways I didn’t even know I need to grow and stretch.

So… The delivery was made with lots of adorable dresses and cute matching outfits (with my 2 cute little side kicks in toe) and 78 more items out of the house and Day 4 done. It was a great feeling! 

FYI: I had a nice chat with the lady at the Pregnancy Assistance Center today (it’s located behind Pizza Hut in Washington if you want to drop off donations) and asked what some specific needs were, things that they were short on.  She said they need Enfamil INFANT (not the newborn) formula and they need NEWBORN (not size 1… they have lots of those) size diapers.  So if you have those things or would like to donate to a worthy cause, this is currently the need.