Surviving School

One of the hardest things to do as a mother is to watch your child struggle. Whether it be physically, academically, emotionally, or socially…. Watching your child struggle and knowing you can’t fix it is just plain hard. 

All of my kids were excited to start school. I think in all reality they were just ready to have interaction with other kids. It really has been just them for the entire summer. I was hopeful that it would be an easy transition, that they would make lots of friends the first day and feel right at home. For 2 of my children, that was the case. They are confident and social and they are going to be your friend, even if you aren’t seeking them out. That is just their personality. But Landen… he is timid until he is comfortable and wears his heart on his sleeve. He doesn’t like change and doesn’t handle it well. The entire move has been hard on him, and a new school where he knows ZERO people (other than his siblings) was really, really difficult. The first three days of school he came home upset every day. He didn’t understand a test he had to take, he had to sit alone at lunch, and no one played with him at recess. I’m not sure who cried more… him or me. That first week was rough!  I wanted to go to school with him and find him a good little friend and just fix it, but I couldn’t. And even though it is so, so very hard to watch your child struggle and hurt you know that this is what is building character and making them the person that God intends them to be. How they react and cope with the difficulty of their struggle can be guided by you (the parent), but you can’t (and shouldn’t) always fix it.

I think this is how God views us. He sees us struggling and hurting. Do I know that He could fix it and make it so that we never hurt or never struggle- yes. But I also know the most difficult, trying, hurting, struggling times in my life were times that made me the person I am; allowed me to have the relationship that I have with the Lord. If I never struggled, if I could handle everything on my own… then why would I need to lean on the Lord for my strength?

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

The Lord has a plan. He doesn’t want to harm us, wants to give us HOPE and a FUTURE. I know sometimes it is a lot harder than others to see HOPE in our circumstance, and sometimes it is long after the difficult situation has passed before we can see how God was at work, but I know He is there. I have to use that HOPE and faith in the Lord to get me through situations where I just can’t fix it. 

So when we came around to Monday and headed back to school, Landen was nervous and didn’t want to go. We talked before going to school about a few little things he could pray in his head if a hard situation like a test, or being lonely at lunch or recess came up. I prayed with him before school individually and then let him lead the family prayer in the car on the way to school.  I spent my whole day praying for him and thinking about him and was really anxious as I sat in the car line to pick him up. When I saw him come out of school with a huge smile on his face, I knew it had been a better day.  I asked him if he used the prayers we talked about that morning. He said, “No. I couldn’t really remember them. But that song ‘Whoa… we’re half way there, Whoa…. Living on a prayer’ was in my head all day long, so that kind of helped.” So even when he couldn’t remember my words… God gave him a little Bon Jovi to get him through the day.  :) He made a friend that sat by him at lunch and played with him at recess. He was out two days with strep throat (which I thought would be a huge set back) but managed to have 2 more friends (and by that I mean kids that he actually knows their names and interacts with) and plays soccer with a big group of boys at recess. 

I know there will be set backs, and I know there will be more struggles ahead. But I also know that the Lord has a great plan for Landen (and all my children), and I will just pray that I am a useful tool and guide on the process. 

We are all trying to get plugged in. We are allowing them to be involved and try to find their niche.  We started soccer up this week  for the older 3 and the kids are finding the programs they want to get involved in at school. This is all new, and it is hard to be the new person (for all of us, not just the kids). But we are pluggin’ along and trusting in the Lord’s great plan.

Thanks for joining me on the journey!

Perspective

Sometimes it just takes seeing a bad situation to appreciate the one you are in… knowing how good you really have it.  Over the last month I have gained a lot of perspective.  I have done this in several areas of my life, and I must say, it makes life just a little bit sweeter.

We tagged along with Eric on a work trip (in a small hotel room…6 of us)mostly because I wasn’t ready to spend an extended time alone in Maryland, not because work trips are fun. We spent our vacation budget on moving this summer, so we didn’t have money set aside to do “vacationy” things. We were in Orlando, a city that knows how to get you to spend some money, and we were on a $0 budget.  So we spent our time doing free/cheap stuff. So we spent most days at the hotel pool and did beaches on the weekend. We did one day of Downtown Disney (because it is free), but most of the time we just hung out. In Orlando it also rains a lot…like every day. It doesn’t rain all day (usually), but you do get rain everyday. So on about day 6 (we were there for 18 days) we ventured to the local Goodwill and got a chess/checker/domino set and a NIB Chutes and Ladders… for under $7! We also had no oven. Stove top and microwave (there were lots of PB&J sandwiches consumed) and a fridge that does not open all the way. 

Here is where perspective makes a world of a difference. I could have been really frustrated (I know this because we have made this trip with Eric before, and I was frustrated the entire time), but I chose not to be.  We swam when it was sunny, and came in when it wasn’t.  Everyone had their own activity and could work on it by themselves or with a sibling. My kids watched way too much Animal Planet (and thanks to Dirty Jobs I got to answer way more questions than I wanted to about childbirth after all of my children watching Mike Rowe pull a calf), and I watched way too many re-runs of Friends late at night. I learned to become super efficient at packing food for an entire day away from the hotel, mastered the art of spending an entire day at the beach with minimal tears and sand coming home with us, and let my kids “be kids” so much more than I did 2 years ago at this exact hotel.  I learned to appreciate the fact that someone else was making beds and scrubbing bathrooms, rather than be annoyed some “stranger” was always in our space. I even missed the dog. :) And most importantly for me at this season in my life… I wanted to be home… in Maryland.  The small space of a hotel room and my kids not being able to play outside without me right there really made me appreciate the huge blessing of a home I have. I have a nice house, with a big yard where my kids can run and play.  We are all together, and even though at times it feels lonely, it is our home… and I am so thankful for it.

Over the last month I have seen a lot of heartache from a distance.  It makes it hard to be away and know you can’t be there.  So today, instead of being sad about all the things that are different, or hard, or lonely, or far away… I choose to change my perspective.  I am so very thankful to have a healthy husband that loves me, four happy, healthy children that love the Lord, and a place I call home… where all the people I love the most in this world are right here with me. 

Thanks for joining me on the Journey!

Visitors!!!

Last week we had visitors! My sister-in-law and niece came to stay for a week. It is probably the best thing that could have happen to me.  I know my posts have been Debbie Downer lately, I just haven’t had a super great attitude toward the new adventure. But guests in my home has changed that a bit. Instead of spending the whole week thinking about what I missed and how things were not the same, I looked for things to do and places to go.  I was doing this for my company, of course, but intern got a great out look on the area and what all there is to offer here. 

I also got to hear myself complaining aloud, and realized how petty and dumb it really sounds. I really don’t hate it here. I live in a beautiful home, my kids have a safe place to play, the area is beautiful and actually has lots of activities to offer. I’m just lonely. And you know what… that is temporary.  I know God has a great plan for me here, I just want to rush it. I want it to automatically feel like “home” and where I came from.  And “home” didn’t feel that way right off the bat… it actually took several years before I didn’t want to leave there everyday, so I know the loneliness is just a season.

The book I am reading talks about 3 different stages of the starting over process when it comes to moving. The first one is where I am stuck and going to try to really, really hard to move past it. Letting go of what you left is the first step. Not always comparing what happens here to what happened there. Not stuck on what you are missing out on, but looking at real opportunities right in front of me. This is much harder than it actually sounds ( I know this because I have been intentionally focusing on this for 3 days).  I don’t want to compare or have a “must be nice” attitude, but I find myself doing it… a lot. So I am just using those opportunities of catching myself in the act, to pray and ask God to give me a heart of gratitude and open my eyes to how I am to be used here (which I am pretty sure is just to be a rock for my kids as they struggle right now).  So in the words of Elsa from Frozen, I will “Let it Go” and look forward. 

So with that thought in mind… you are about to get a picture overload… sorry (not really :)). But I will let you know there are lots of positives to this place, and we have only discovered a smidge of them!  

We found two really awesome parks this week. One of them has a pavilion, lots of equipment, a nature trail, and part of the Three Notch Trail (biking, walking, jogging long paved trail) that connects right to it. Bonus: Clean Bathrooms! The other one has TONS of soccer fields attached, lots of playground equipment, and a .25mile loop around the equipment to get some miles in while the kids play. Super Bonus: Clean, AIR CONDITIONED,  bathrooms. :)

We found an Italian Ice/ Custard place that was good… and Snow White (a really good one, I must say) just happen to be hanging out there the next night!

We hit the beach for a day. In the process of looking up beaches, I found out several other options of water recreation things to do in the area! (Including lighthouses and places to kayak).

We did the pool. This was the same pool where we did lessons, but the kids got to enjoy the water slides and diving boards. All three big kids went off the high dive (it was really high), and the boys were even diving off by the end. They even talked Alice and me into jumping off. It was much higher than I remember high dives being… or maybe I am just old. 

My nature loving kids found a dead frog, a live frog, a dead crab, and several live crabs (fearless are the little people I have that spend their beach days trying to catch crabs).

I got to go on a date with my husband. We found out what Japanese steak house we should never eat at again. ;)(We should have just walked out when there was NO ONE there at 8pm on a Friday night. You live and you learn.) BUT… had a really great conversation without any little people interrupting! 

Eleni got mail! The kids check the mailbox diligently everyday hoping for something in the mail (this is a great thing to do if you want to encourage my kids… they love getting mail).  El was SUPER excited!!!

Spent a day in DC. We did the major landmarks with the kids (they did great with all the walking) and have discovered the HUGE amount of things we could do there… ALL. THE. TIME!  There is just so many things… the possibilities are endless. Landen was definitely the most into it. He already asked me if we could come to DC and do all the things he wants to do for his next Mommy/Landen Date! Absolutely!!!

And the kids got lots of cousin time in! They loved having Taylor here. And I loved having Alice here. It was nice to have someone to talk to, face to face. I am forever grateful for her making the trip and spending her vacation with us!

It was a good week with lots of perspective. 

          

Thanks for joining me on the journey.