This month has been crazy with the ups and downs. Some days I feel like I am super empowered because God has given me strength to make these all these great food choices, other days I feel like I want to ball myself into the fetal position and cry because I want a cookie. This has definitely been the most challenging month for me thus far.
I survived s’mores (in my top 5 favorite desserts) being served, vacation and all the yumminess that goes with it, 18 straight hours in the car with my husband getting a candy bar and a soda at EVERY gas station we stopped at, 2 fast food restaurant meals on the way home, Schulte’s doughnuts, and a camping trip with hot dogs and unlimited amount of unsanctioned fasting approved food… all to almost be done in by a cookie. I almost cheated today… it was so very close. The bag of cookies was calling my name. I refrained, and calmed the sweet craving with some delicious watermelon, but wasn’t happy about it.
My friend, and council member Missy (who is also doing this fast) texted me earlier in the week that this month felt like a marathon. I couldn’t agree more! I have only run one marathon, but let me tell you, when you get near the end (for me about mile 22) you want to quit. The beginning of the race was hard to find my pace. I was excited, nervous, trying to maneuver my way around 50,000 other people. Just like the beginning of the fast was hard to figure out what to eat, how much, how to prepare. In the middle of the race you find your pace, the craziness of it all thins out, you enjoy the cheering people, it can even be… dare I say… an enjoyable run for awhile. The middle of the fast you get your groove, you know what you can and can’t eat, it is easier to prepare and have things ready to eat. And then you enter that final couple miles… It hurts, you are tired of doing it, you look for a short cut through the park to get to the finish line early, You debate sitting down and calling your husband to come pick you up at mile 24, you look at total strangers and tell them this is the stupidest thing you have ever done (well this was my experience :)).
This fast was (and still is for the next 36 hours) an extreme challenge for me. I don’t know if I have learned what God wanted me to learn during this month… but here is what I know:
He has made it very clear to me that food has a strong hold in my life. I turn to it for comfort, for reward, for punishment, out of boredom, in celebration… food has become an idol to me. God wants me to turn to Him for all of these things, and He has made it very apparent to me how often I am not doing that.
My friend Melissa sent me this verse last week as encouragement: Matthew 4:4---Man shall not live on bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. EVERY word! The Bible is chalk full of words that come from God (like the whole thing :))… and I could read the entire thing through 10 times this year and get something new from it every time. He reveals things to us in a new light all of the time according to our circumstance and the season of life we are in. So instead of turning to a yummy dinner roll for comfort at the end of a bad day, maybe I should be cracking open my Bible to see what the Lord wants to show me.
It has been a wild month!
Thanks for joining me on the journey!
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