Me Month: Day 1

Not yelling is sooooo hard!!!! I did not know this was a “problem” area in my life. I knew I did it, but I didn’t realize how much I do it. My first indication of the difficultly of the situation should have been at breakfast. Brayden was at a sleepover, so the younger three kids and I were eating breakfast together before church. I was telling them today was a new fasting month and explaining a few things I would be doing. When I said, “and I am going to try my very best not to yell at anyone this month” Eleni and Landen looked at each other, then in unison said, “YES!!!” This was followed up by Landen saying, “This is going to be the best month of my life!”  This should have been a clear indication that this certain item on the list would be hard. BUT… if there was any doubt in my mind… Brayden cleared it up when we picked him up from the sleepover before church. I told him one of my fasting goals was no yelling this month. He looked at me very concerned and said with the utmost seriousness, “Mom, I think that is going to be very difficult for you.”  GREAT! All of my children think all I do is yell.

It is quite obvious that this was meant to be on the list this month. I actually prayed about it and had my tentative list the night before the fast started (no yelling was not even on my radar)… but when I woke up the next morning my very first thoughts were… as there was a 3 year old crying next to my head at 5:45am who had just wet the bed… 1) don’t forget to pray before you get out of this bed 2) I should have no yelling on my list.  So I cleaned up the mess, and the kid, and put her in bed with me and went back to sleep. When we got up later,  I scratched out “Kid-free weekend with Eric” (sorry hubs) and put “no yelling”.  The kid-free weekend was already in the works… so I kind of felt like that was a cheating one anyway. :)

I caught myself almost yelling about 2,000 times that day (ok, maybe not that many)… apparently I do have a problem. I managed not to yell… but it definitely made me aware how often I raise my voice in frustration over really silly things… not putting shoes on, not brushing teeth, not holding your head still while I am trying to fix your hair, not clearing your breakfast bowl (after being asked 45 times), letting the dog run out of the house, not buckling seat belts… I mean seriously… I don’t need to raise my voice. They are kids for Pete’s sake, right?  So… looks like I have a lot to work on this month.  Hopefully we will all be better people at the end of this one!

Thanks for joining me on the journey!