Spending: Day 4

So I am going to take a blog to brag on my amazing, always seems to humble me, children (since I can tie it into spending month :)). 

First of all let me explain a little about our philosophy with money with our kids. I am not saying there is a right way or a wrong way, I’m just saying this is how we do it.  About 3 years back, Eric and I took the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace class offered at out church (highly recommend it, changed our lives). About a year after that, we started doing it with our children.  Each child has 3 jars; give, save, spend, and allowance is distributed monthly and it must be divided into these three categories… in that order. Give is a required 10%, Save is a required 20%, and the last 70% can be divided how they would like it to be. Depending on the child and what the current mission they have will depend where they put their final 70%. This being said, our kids are required to buy any toys/special treats they want with their own money (we do give them gifts for Christmas and Birthday, and they are sometimes earning things for behavior or grades… but on the whole… if you want it, save up your spend money and buy it.) Our boys have perfected the art of “combining” their money to buy something (99% of the time a Lego set) that they can enjoy together. I love this! It has given us so many opportunities to teach them things about money, and what and where it should go. 

All the jars!

Last year we (Eric and I) decided our gift to our children for Christmas was going to be $50 each that they had to spend on someone else. The ultimate lesson was to be that they can understand the joy of giving rather than receiving. They decided to shop in the Samaritan’s Purse catalog. This is a place where your money can go to a variety of different things (that you get to choose) to help people in need (mostly third world countries). It was awesome to watch them pick things out… with their little personalities shining through. Brayden was the funniest to watch, really stressing about if his money should go to mosquito nets to save people from malaria or toward the building of a well for fresh water. It was a real dilemma for him. He ended up using his $50, all the money in his give jar, and convinced Landen to give some of his give jar money so he could get exactly what he wanted to give. We ended up purchasing several chickens, a goat, blankets, mosquito nets, and school supplies for 250 kids. It was a great feeling for them and for us. 

This year when the Samaritan’s purse catalog came, we told them once again their gift from us was $50 to spend on whatever they wanted. After thoroughly reading through the catalog many times, Brayden said he wants to provide fresh water… for a whole village. That is $10,000. When I tried to explain to him we don’t have $10,000 to give… if everyone combines their money, it’s only $200, he said, “then we will sell stuff and raise it.” So he convinced all the kids to combine their money and he and Landen started bagging up Legos to sell and asked to have a bake sale or if they can do extra jobs for more money.  I told them $10,000 is a lot of money… and the likelihood of raising that much money before Christmas wasn’t great, but we could send them all that they raised. So when you see my children pedaling brownies or Rice Krispy treats, or asking to rake leaves or do odd jobs for cash…just know that they are trying to save the world… and I’m not going to try to stop them! They have such huge hearts and the passion to help others… I wish that was always my first instinct, and pray that stays with them forever!

Speaking of first instincts… our family won $50 at the costume contest! My first instinct- I was so pumped that we had an extra $50 to go do something fun as a family!!! I was brainstorming ideas to suggest to the kids, though was going to ultimately let them decide. I had my ideas: movies, Swing-around Fun town, science center, ice skating… all kinds of fun things for our family to do! When I sat down with the kids and told them we had $50 to spend however we wanted… what do we want to do with it? Without hesitation, Brayden said, “we should send it to Desmund.” And everyone else with a resounding, “yeah!”. Desmund is our newly sponsored Compassion International kid. Two days earlier, we had a big discussion about Desmund and how he lived and the struggles he faced. I also told them they had the option of spending their give money to Desmund.

Kids excited about sending him the money!!!

I am going to admit something I am not proud of… I tried to talk my kids out of it. After all… we earned that money, it was for us, our family… to do something fun!(Insert selfish adult with an agenda here) But once again, my children (and all the wonderful little passions God has placed in their hearts) showed me that Desmund and his family was the right choice for the $50. 

This is Desmund!

Brayden and Landen have been trying to earn a trip to McDonalds through their grades on spelling tests. They both had to get 5 tests with 100% in a row to earn this trip. And wouldn’t you know… that happen to fall in the first week of the spending fast, where McDonalds is not an option. At first, Landen was very, VERY upset! He had earned it, and he wanted to go! When I explained that the fast I was doing this month was spending, he wanted all the details of what that meant, where we could spend money, and why I was doing it. I said, “I made a promise to God, and I don’t want to break that promise. You have earned it, and we will go the day the fast is over.” His response was, “I didn’t know you promised God? It’s ok… I can wait.” Be still my heart. I did not expect my hot tempered, strong willed child to respond like that!

Please don’t get me wrong… my kids are…well… kids. They can be selfish, and fight, and argue with the best of them. But I love, love, LOVE how God is showing me insane love for others through them. I love that God is using my children to teach me valuable lessons that I probably knew as a child and have been lost along the way! I am learning lessons that weren’t even on my radar to learn this month! I thought I was going to learn to be a better manager of the money that God has provided… maybe save a few bucks. I didn’t realize that my children would be opening my eyes to the passion of helping those in need. God is good!!!

Thanks for joining me on the journey!

Spending: Day 3

Day 1 & 2… nothing major to report. Small little “oh man, I wish I could…” moments, but nothing that put me out or I felt like I was missing out on.  We came home and had lunch here on Sunday. That is a rarity for us. We usually eat out and spend the afternoon with Eric’s family. But… Sunday we came home, ate lunch, and just enjoyed each other. The weather was awesome so there was lots of outside time (which was good because now it is really yucky out).  Day 2, nothing major. We spent most of the day at home. Eric took Eleni to dance, so she and I’s traditional post-dance Sonic trip wasn’t an issue, because I wasn’t there. That might be an issue next week.

Today was the first day that was a tad uncomfortable. I turned down eating out lunch, because I knew I couldn’t spend money. In all fairness, the other party offered to pay, but 3 days in, it felt like cheating (that might change 3 weeks in :)). It also gave me the opportunity to tell someone about the fast that I thought didn’t have a clue I was even doing it (I’m always leery of this… I don’t ever want it to come across as a “look what I am doing”, so I find it a hard balance in telling people/not telling people what and why I am doing things.) . Surprisingly the response was, “I know. That’s why I am offering to pay.” I don’t know if it is a pride issue or just they way things were ingrained into me growing up, but I have a very hard time taking things I don’t feel like I have earned/worked for. I think God might be trying to work on that with me this month… uncomfortable!

I also saw 3 different “sales” or people trying to get rid of things on facebook that I probably would have purchased if it was not spending month.  Instead of being bitter about it, I am choosing to use these little uncomfortable or “oh man” moments to pray. I am thanking the Lord for all of His amazing blessing that He has given to our family. He provides everything we need plus so much more. And for that I am eternally grateful. (Please don’t judge me when 2 weeks from now I am writing about how I am bitter… it is bound to happen.)

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Thanks for joining me on the journey!

Spending Month: Overview

Purpose: Know where our money goes and make sure it has a purpose and isn’t wasted. To be a good steward of what the Lord has provided.

I will only spend money at 7 different locations.

1.     Bill Pay (this is all of the monthly bills piled into one utilities, phone, house, ect.)

2.    Gas (I did not pick 1 gas station because we will be traveling over Thanksgiving and need to get gas outside of New Haven)

3.  Aldi (grocery)

4.  Save-a-Lot (grocery)

5.  School

6.  Doctor/Dentist (for any medical issues that may arise… this will also include medicine if need be)

7.    Wal-Mart (this is the “in case” store)

This month has me a little freaked out, for so many reasons. This month needed a bit of preparation… I did do some, but did not prepare as well as I should have. And then there are some things that are just luxuries we enjoy that are not on our spending list this month.

1^st Stress… Family pictures. So I did manage to get the photographer paid before the month started (literally in the mail the day before)… I did NOT have outfits picked out or hair cuts (my boys are in full on shaggy mode and need hair cuts desperately. The girls need trims.) I am hoping I have matching/coordinating clothes in everyone’s current sizes and Eric doesn’t butcher the boys hair with the at home hair cuts. Trying to decide if I attempt to trim the girls on my own, or just let it be. This is a tad stressing me out.

2^nd Stress- No eating out. I know this is a complete luxury, but one that I very much enjoy. We don’t do it super often, but we do eat out every Sunday after church, lots of times on Friday nights we grab a pizza and redbox (which is also a no-go this month), our dates almost always involve eating out, and we will be traveling over Thanksgiving… so preparing food ahead instead of stopping. None of these are horrible or hard, it will just be more planning and preparing on my part.

3^rd Stress- Christmas Shopping! This is a really horrible month to limit my options on shopping. Originally I had planned to get most of my shopping done during October, but then we were a part of the lovely government shutdown during October, so I didn’t spend any extra on gifts, not knowing when we would get a paycheck again. So very little Christmas shopping is done.

4^th Stress- Black Friday and Union Craft Fair. :( This isn’t so much of a stress as a sad day for my money saving/craft loving heart. I know I probably spend money on things I shouldn’t (buy because it is a good deal/cute… not because I need it) during these two events, so in the long run it will probably be for the best… though I will probably be grumpy about it.

I really hated putting school and doctor/dentist down as a place to spend money. I feel like it is a waste of 2 spots that may not get used. BUT… if something comes up, I need to be able to pay these people to get the services, so alas they are on the list. Wal-Mart was my catch all. I will do a majority of grocery shopping at the two other locations, but if school projects or other things come up that require something not provided at those 2 stores… I won’t have to feel guilty that a Wal-Mart trip was required.

Also it should be noted what I define as spending. Spending is using money to get something in return for OUR family. I’m not counting tithing or any donations that we regularly give (or anything the Lord puts upon our hearts to give in addition to our regular giving this month) as spending. That is considered giving. I don’t think the Lord will frown upon that.

It should also be noted that Eric has not decided if he will participate in this month. So, though he may not, all family and personal (for me) purchases will be limited to these 7 locations. (Basically what I am saying is, if you see Eric eating out with someone for lunch or walking around Lowes… that doesn’t mean I cheated, it means he is choosing not to participate! :))

This should be an interesting month. Can’t wait to see what God has in store!

Thanks for joining me on the journey!

Me Month: Day 28

Well, this month was great! Some things harder than others, and some things not completed, but overall I feel a success. I will say that in some ways this month felt very selfish. I would never spend this much time on me if I wasn’t spending the month focusing on it. There are some things that have now become routine, and I am happy about that… but others (though blessed to experience them) I definitely won’t be doing for myself every month. So the fast is at its end and here is how it played out…

1.     Pray in bed- I did this everyday! Sometimes it was short and sweet, sometimes it was long and drawn out and brought me to tears… but it was done every morning and every night. I loved this one!!! This is one that will continue on, even though the fast is over.

2.    Bedtime routine- –wash face, brush/floss teeth, take meds… Also completed this one every day. Some times this was a wake up at 1am on the couch and have to go do all of these things before I climbed in my bed, but they all got done every day (though I often thought about skipping them when exhausted).

3.    Daily Devotional- I slacked on this one during week 4 I am sad to say. I had just come home from MOPS convention and was on overload from 3 solid days of workshops and used it as an excuse… when in all reality I was probably just lazy. This one I am going to try to carry over and do again with more diligence during next month’s fast.

4.    Stick to the designated food plan- I did this (minus the one M&M cheat) but is was so hard! I don’t know why food is such a struggle for me, but it is. This is something I will have to continue to work on.

5.    Stick to the exercise plan- This one I kind of slacked off during week 4 too. I had told myself that I would just do stretching and 1-2 short runs the week after the marathon (which I did), but then it was hard to get back into it.  I always feel better when I exercise, so this one will be carried over to next month also.

My new fun shirt from Fellow Flowers!

6.    Eat breakfast everyday- I missed 2 days of this. One was the morning of the marathon (when I had been throwing up) and the other one was a lack of planning on my part and ran out of time.  But overall… huge improvement from any other time in my life.

7.    9 hours (at least) dedicated to crafting. This one did not pan out as expected… but I did get 9+ hours of crafting! My original intent was to have an entire day to scrap… I really miss it, I haven’t done it in a really long time (almost 2 years). When trying to justify it, council made me feel ok about it by saying that it was something that my family could benefit from (later in life)… so my crafting time ended up being lots of costume making and cupcake/birthday cake decorating. So the family (kids) benefited…and I loved doing it! Win-win!

Astronaut costume for school project.

Werewolf cupcakes for birthday treat at school... these took way longer than I care to admit for what they looked like.

Landen's Chima birthday cake!

Vegetable costumes for our family theme!

8.    9 hours (at least) dedicated to a musical project. This did not happen at all. I am really sad about it and hope to be able to dedicate some time to it in the future. But I added so many extra things that weren’t on the list,  and there were only so many hours this month. As I was being really bummed that I didn’t finish/attempt this one… my 5 year old was in the kitchen with me while I had my music playing on the speakers… the child can hum the entire Adagio for Strings, sing all the words to Barbara Streisand’s New York State of Mind, plays a mean air guitar while singing along to Bon Jovi’s You Give Love a Bad Name, will sing along to any song that comes on to JOYFM, and her entire life is a musical… she has quite the musical pallet. Though sad I didn’t dedicate the time to a project for me this month, I feel like I am doing a decent job at passing on my love for music.

9.    No yelling/raising my voice in anger or frustration. This one went so much better than expected! After the first couple of weeks, I really didn’t have to try so hard. I think just making yourself aware of how often you are doing it makes all the difference in the world. I know I slipped up some, but on the whole… the yelling it down by leaps and bounds!

Our family memorized this verse during the first week of "No Yelling" and it was repeated many, many times!

I spent so much time doing things that fulfill me this month it was ridiculous! Not only did I do the marathon and MOPS convention (which I already blogged about), but I went to a running meeting in the city where I got to hear the authors of Run Like a Mother speak! They were awesome, hilarious, and very inspirational.  I had lots of girl time, family time, and date time. It was a great refreshing month!

Running date with the hubs!

Lots of lunch dates with friends and family that Addi got to join in on!

Awesome girl time with my best friend that I never see!

Thanks for joining me on the journey!