So, it has been about 2 two weeks... 13 days to be exact... of wearing only 7 articles of clothing. I'm not sure hard is the right word, but definitely a challenge. Here are 8 of the highlights/challenges of the last 13 days...
1. I have slept in a sundress 5 times in the last 2 weeks. Not the most convenient or comfortable, but could definitely could be worse.
2. Evening walks and morning runs to school I have missed the convenience of flip-flops, a baseball cap and a sweatshirt or jacket.
3. About 3 days in I wore the same outfit for 24 hours straight... my husband was seriously questioning how this month was going to go.
4. I was picked to go on a canoeing field trip with 5th grade. It was 92 degrees that day, I did not have appropriate clothing for this outing. I sweat my booty off in my skinny jeans and looked like I was wearing a two tone gray shirt with the amount of sweat released from my over dressed body.
5. Brayden has complimented me every time I wear the red sundress. I'm not sure what this means... either he is happy to occasionally see me in color? or he really dislikes the other things I have chosen for the month? Or maybe he is just a polite kid who knows I'm struggling with this month? Not sure which one, but I will take it while I can get it.
6. One of the exceptions has taken place... pedicure. I was very curious how this would play out, and opinions of the council varied greatly on how this should be done. Ultimately, I decided to let the girls to pick my color and spend time with them. The were talking bright blues, greens and yellows before we got there so I was a tad nervous. When we got there, within 30 seconds they picked a mauve/pinkish color... something I would never pick, but they said, "This looks like something Marmee would totally wear, we think you should do this one." So we went with that. And as far as a relaxing experience... I wrestled a very wiggly baby the entire time, that continually pushed buttons on the massage chair, so I was definitely there for the girls. :)
7. I obviously haven't been wearing gray everyday, but my beautiful friend (and council member) Missy pledged to wear gray every day for the first week (for brain tumor awareness). She sent me pics and even got boot camp in on it one day! Made me feel great!
8. It is UNREAL to me how much confidence a cardigan and a pair of earrings give me. I seriously debated not going to my kids awards assembly because I only had my gray sundress clean and I did not like my physical appearance in that dress that day. I am not proud of this, and seriously dislike this insecurity I have.. but it is here and very real.
Here is the thing I have noticed about my kids... they all see me and need me in different ways, none of those are related to my clothing. This goes with everyone I guess, not just my kids. It is more about the "doing" than the "wearing". I already knew this, but I guess it has been overly emphasized to me over the last 2 weeks.
I have really been focusing my Bible study this month on Proverbs 31... verses 10-31 specifically. The Wife of Noble Character... gosh, she is so great. I struggle with this so much. I feel it clearly states the things to I should be striving toward, and even though I feel like I am completely falling short, it is so good! I have read it so many times in my adult life, yet there is something new I noticed while focusing on it this month (I love when God does this). All the verses 10-31 talk about the things she is, should be, does... none of these things talk about her outward appearance, except one, verse 30.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
So not only does the Lord NOT list physical appearance as one of the things that is important to focus on, but He goes out of His was to say THIS IS FLEETING.
Webster's definition:
fleet·ing
adjective lasting for a very short time.
Beauty is fleeting, last a short time, not important to the Lord.
I am secure enough in my faith at this point in my life to know that my worth has zero to do with my outward appearance. But y'all, I'm going to be super honest here- I struggle- BIG TIME. I know... I KNOW... that true beauty is on the inside, and I truly believe it. I drill it into my children and emphasize it to myself, but I really struggle with being an insecure person because of my looks. I don't like this about myself, and my biggest struggle is how to help my girls find a good balance. To teach them to know your worth has nothing to do with your appearance, but at the same time not always feeling... well... ugly. I have never once looked at myself and thought I was beautiful. Not once. I know the Lord sees me as beautiful, He created me, so why can I not see myself that way? And how do I help my girls with this? This is really what the Lord has been laying on my heart this month... and I am a work in progress.
Here is to surviving the next 2 weeks and learning lessons along the way (and not having to spend any time hanging out like this guy :) ).
Thanks for joining me on the journey!
Kudos to you for going through this journey. Have you ever read Christy by Catherine Marshall? In the story Christy is preparing to go ask for money for the mission from a wealthy man. She remembers some advice from her mother about thinking of Esther and how she beautified herself and dressed to gain the attention of the King. Christy's mother told her that frumpiness didn't do the Kingdom of God any good. We needed to look good to attract others to the cause of Christ. Or something like that, I'm paraphrasing. Anyway, don't beat yourself up for wanting to look nice (as in respectable and prosperous), as those are the qualities that will do a better job of getting across the message that followers of Christ are happy, healthy, successful (in all the right things) people. Let your light shine! Thanks for sharing your journey and perspectives. You and your family are beautiful.
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