Surviving School

One of the hardest things to do as a mother is to watch your child struggle. Whether it be physically, academically, emotionally, or socially…. Watching your child struggle and knowing you can’t fix it is just plain hard. 

All of my kids were excited to start school. I think in all reality they were just ready to have interaction with other kids. It really has been just them for the entire summer. I was hopeful that it would be an easy transition, that they would make lots of friends the first day and feel right at home. For 2 of my children, that was the case. They are confident and social and they are going to be your friend, even if you aren’t seeking them out. That is just their personality. But Landen… he is timid until he is comfortable and wears his heart on his sleeve. He doesn’t like change and doesn’t handle it well. The entire move has been hard on him, and a new school where he knows ZERO people (other than his siblings) was really, really difficult. The first three days of school he came home upset every day. He didn’t understand a test he had to take, he had to sit alone at lunch, and no one played with him at recess. I’m not sure who cried more… him or me. That first week was rough!  I wanted to go to school with him and find him a good little friend and just fix it, but I couldn’t. And even though it is so, so very hard to watch your child struggle and hurt you know that this is what is building character and making them the person that God intends them to be. How they react and cope with the difficulty of their struggle can be guided by you (the parent), but you can’t (and shouldn’t) always fix it.

I think this is how God views us. He sees us struggling and hurting. Do I know that He could fix it and make it so that we never hurt or never struggle- yes. But I also know the most difficult, trying, hurting, struggling times in my life were times that made me the person I am; allowed me to have the relationship that I have with the Lord. If I never struggled, if I could handle everything on my own… then why would I need to lean on the Lord for my strength?

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

The Lord has a plan. He doesn’t want to harm us, wants to give us HOPE and a FUTURE. I know sometimes it is a lot harder than others to see HOPE in our circumstance, and sometimes it is long after the difficult situation has passed before we can see how God was at work, but I know He is there. I have to use that HOPE and faith in the Lord to get me through situations where I just can’t fix it. 

So when we came around to Monday and headed back to school, Landen was nervous and didn’t want to go. We talked before going to school about a few little things he could pray in his head if a hard situation like a test, or being lonely at lunch or recess came up. I prayed with him before school individually and then let him lead the family prayer in the car on the way to school.  I spent my whole day praying for him and thinking about him and was really anxious as I sat in the car line to pick him up. When I saw him come out of school with a huge smile on his face, I knew it had been a better day.  I asked him if he used the prayers we talked about that morning. He said, “No. I couldn’t really remember them. But that song ‘Whoa… we’re half way there, Whoa…. Living on a prayer’ was in my head all day long, so that kind of helped.” So even when he couldn’t remember my words… God gave him a little Bon Jovi to get him through the day.  :) He made a friend that sat by him at lunch and played with him at recess. He was out two days with strep throat (which I thought would be a huge set back) but managed to have 2 more friends (and by that I mean kids that he actually knows their names and interacts with) and plays soccer with a big group of boys at recess. 

I know there will be set backs, and I know there will be more struggles ahead. But I also know that the Lord has a great plan for Landen (and all my children), and I will just pray that I am a useful tool and guide on the process. 

We are all trying to get plugged in. We are allowing them to be involved and try to find their niche.  We started soccer up this week  for the older 3 and the kids are finding the programs they want to get involved in at school. This is all new, and it is hard to be the new person (for all of us, not just the kids). But we are pluggin’ along and trusting in the Lord’s great plan.

Thanks for joining me on the journey!