We are moms. This comes with a lot of guilt. Some of it false guilt, some of it legit... but I'm here to tell you how to enjoy your summer with your children guilt-free. Are you ready?
First.. my credentials:
I am a mom of 4 children, two boys and two girls, ages 7-12 with a (SURPRISE) baby on the way. I mess up ALL the time! I have major mom fails on a daily basis. Some seasons of life I fail with one child more than the others... sometimes I just all around drop the ball. Some times my mom fails are simple, superficial ones that make me feel guilty but don't do major long term damage. Some times I make HUGE mom fails that crush the spirit of my child that I have to ask both my child and the Lord for forgiveness. I am a human that is trying to do the best I can, but royally screw it up some of the time. I have no professional background or degree in parenting. Take everything I say with a grain of salt... this is my opinion, not the Bible of Parenting (though I might throw some Bible in... because that's how I roll ;) ).
So now that you know me... if you dare to keep reading... here it is... STOP IT! STOP letting other people tell you how to have the "Best Summer of Your Life". STOP letting other moms or articles on how to be a good mom make you feel guilty. STOP letting what other people say, do, and view your Facebook feed effect what you will do and how you do it! It is that simple (and simple does not mean always easy). Do what you want to do and stop worrying about what other mom's think.
In the last week I have read 7 articles on how to have a great summer with my kids. They range anywhere from let your kids eat tons of unhealthy food, have as much screen time as they want, and just plan nothing... to Educational ways to incorporate math, science, and reading into your summer activities... to Making Memorable experiences by giving them the Best Vacation Ever ... to 101 things to put on your Summer Bucket List! There are so many people telling me how to have a "great" summer... how am I supposed to know what to do? Which route to choose? How do I incorporate them all so that my kids are well rounded and other moms won't silently (or not so silently) judge me? If I only get 17 likes on my activity when I post it to my Facebook page instead of the normal 123... does this mean other moms think I'm not doing it right? GAH!!!
Here is what I have to say... we are all so very different! Every mom parents her children in different ways. That does not mean some are doing it right and some are doing it wrong... it means we are different... and that is ok- it is fantastic actually! What works for you may not work for another mom, and that does not mean a Single. Dang. Thing.
Colossians 3:23 says this, "
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters." My work that I have chosen is to be a mom. As long as I am doing it with love, and purpose, and for the Lord... that is all that matters. "Human masters" when referring to this mommin' thing... those would be the people that you (and I) are trying to impress. The only one that really matters? The Lord. We will mess up, we are human. That is why I am thankful I am doing my work for the Lord, who is forgiving and shows me grace and mercy as I walk through these uncharted waters of parenting.
Don't let others rob you of your joy.
Here is something you should know about me... I am a mom that LOVES to throw birthday parties (or parties of any kind). I like to throw over the top, themed out, food goes with decor, games/activities are thought out, details are important to me parties. I truly LOVE to do it. It makes my heart happy to see everything come together, everything coordinating, I put time and attention into the details of it... I just really REALLY love doing it!
I spent about a 3 year period feeling really guilty about doing this for my kids... this thing that I LOVED... because there were so many articles coming out saying that moms that threw those kinds of parties aren't doing it for their kids, they were only doing it to impress other moms.
"Stop trying to impress other people, all kids really want is cake... you are throwing parties for the wrong reason and your kids don't care." It would really hurt my feelings when people would call me Pinterest Party mom, or say things like, "trying to make a jealous with another huge party?". I let other people steal my joy. The thing I LOVED doing the most for my kids was stolen from me because I let some article tell me I was doing it for the wrong reason.
Do I think there are probably people that do it for the wrong reason... you betcha! Do I think there is probably some truth to those articles and it was a relief for the mom that really was trying to impress other people to be able to just let it go... I guarantee it! But... I let my friends make me feel guilty because of their comments. I wasn't doing it for the wrong reason... I truly loved doing it... and I let someone else steal that joy from me.
Does this mean I think a party that is just a cake is a flop? Heck no! It means that mom is different than me. I don't judge a mom on how much she loves her kid by what type of birthday party she throws. She may not love the details or the planning... and that is ok... it's more than ok, she shouldn't be doing it if she is doing it for the wrong reason. She should do what she loves, and not let anyone steal that from her.
Here is my point... have a good summer. Do what works for you to make you have an enjoyable summer.
If it is FUN to create a Summer Bucket List- do it!
If it is FUN to incorporate learning experience and educational ties into everything you do- do it!
If it is FUN to take an unforgettable vacation-do it!
If it is FUN to have no schedule, TV on all the time, drink kool-aide and eat twinkies all summer-do it!
Don't let another mom's very different summer make you feel like you are failing. And don't judge or make passive aggressive comments (and/or vague Facebook posts) when she does it different than you. Don't let some article you read steal your joy in parenting. We are all moms. We are all different. This season of young children will be over before you know it... embrace it and make it your own!
Mommin' ain't easy gals! We are all in this together... but it doesn't mean we all have to do it the same way! Love your kids the best way you can and forget the rest!
Have a GREAT summer!
