Food: Day 2

Today was better. I went into it with a better attitude, so I think that helps. I also went to the store and bought dry roasted nuts (per the recommendation of many people that have done this and did not starve to death), so I finally felt full in between meals today.

Grocery store discoveries today… there is added sugar (and a bunch of other stuff that most the time you can’t even pronounce) in soooo many things! It is hard to find things that are already made that do not contain a bunch of filler stuff. Which lead me to another discovery- healthy, good for you food is expensive and work.  I’m not saying it is not worth it, I am just saying that making everything from scratch takes a lot of time and prep. If you attempt to buy things premade and healthy, you pay the price. $10 jar of almond butter (instead of $3.48 for JIF) and I don’t even like it… literally gagged. Some things I will just do without this month. :)

Today after school Eleni asked if they could have an ice cream cone for a snack. Landen quickly reminded her that we were giving it up for the month. She started to pout about it, and then quickly turned it into, “I can eat the cone, right?” there was no rule about giving up cones, so she enjoyed her ice cream cone and her blue berries. This led into a small sad moment tonight when looking at the school menu to discover that they were having pizza a school tomorrow. (Curse you school lunch for having pizza during the fast!!!) Eleni started crying at the thought of not getting to eat it when everyone else does and I am starting to doubt my thoughts on bringing them into this fast. I don’t want them to hate it, or have bad feelings towards God or fasting because it is miserable, but I do think they can learn something. What is too much at a young age? I just don’t know. So I pray that tomorrow doesn’t go too poorly, and it is overridden by something amazing I pack in her lunch (not sure what that will be yet, but I am sure it will be amazing :)).

Another disturbing thing I discovered about myself today is how much I rely on food to bring me happiness or reward myself (or my children for that matter). When trying to think of a reward for good behavior, it is always something like… family out for ice cream, someone gets to choose where we go out to eat, you get a special dessert or special treat. I reward my children and myself way too much with junk! So I am on a mission to find a better reward system… things that make me happy that do not involve food (sadly this will take a lot of effort). 

This is a challenging journey… thanks for joining me on it!