Girl on a Journey: Last day of Purging!

Today is supposed to be the last day of this possessions fast... here is the thing... there is still so much to get rid of! I will admit, this past week I kind of fell off the purging wagon. I justified it by saying I was busy with other commitments and I had already donated above and beyond by goal (which by the way, I am well aware this is an excuse, not a justification... I was just trying to make myself feel better.) So, with this week being a rest week (clothing fast starts on May 7th), I am committing one full day to going through the 3 specific areas I intended to hit that I have yet to do. Beyond that... I know there is so much more to be done, but it will come slowly and with time, and I pray that the Lord continues to show me where our material possessions can be better utilized.

I had made a conscious decision at the beginning of this month not to purchase anything that I was not going to use immediately. I thought this was a simple task... this was not. Can I just tell you, I was made incredibly aware of how many times I buy things because "that's cute" or "I could maybe use that" or "that would be fun to do with the kids later"... I spend too much money on things that will probably be donated with tags still on it later. Target and Michaels are that hardest for me... but I managed to stay strong this month. I am hoping that I can continue with this trend even when I'm not focusing on possessions.

Left Michael's with only ribbon and tape runners!

Here are some things I learned:

1. My natural instinct is not always to give... I really don't like this about myself. There were still 2 separate occasions during this fast that I had the internal battle of, "give it to someone in need" and "sell it and make some money". Now don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with selling your things, but my primary goal was to donate things that could bless others that we no longer had a need for. And yet, there were still times I hesitated. I pray the Lord changes my heart with this.

2. Remember how I said last blog that I thought I wasn't necessarily a bad steward of our money- that was a lie! Seriously... the more I went through this to give away, the more I was like "why do I have so many of these?" 8 unused backpacks... all in good condition (this is not counting the 4 that are currently being carried to and from school), 17 coloring books, gallon bags of markers, crayons, and colored pencils... don't even get me started on party supplies. I just buy so many things that are unnecessary. I have been praying a lot that I am better with this as I move forward.

3.People before purging. I'm a list and goal kind of girl... if I have a task at hand, I want to accomplish that goal. There were 2 different days during this fast that I had plans to go through a certain area of purging, but there were real humans with real needs, so the purging took a backseat for the day. Those days I'm ok with... if I spend my day baking brownies and cooking lasagnas because I have sick friends, or sad friends, or friends that just need a night off... instead of going through a box of old Christmas stuff, I feel like the Lord gives it His stamp of approval.

4.Sorting things into piles in my basement, bedroom, kitchen... wherever... is not the same as actually donating things. I have multiple plies of "intentions" but until I actually deliver it to the recipient, it is still just too much stuff in my house!

5. This fasting experience is so different than the last time. I did expect it to be somewhat different, learning new things about myself and such. But just the completely different season of life that I am in makes this challenge so different! I have elementary and middle school kids that are involved in extra curricular activities and need help with homework and projects... and I have a baby (I know, it is still hard for me to believe this sometimes too). But it puts me in a whole new situation of my time being torn in every direction. My marriage and my husband's job are also in a very different place than they were 5 years ago, and sometimes that means he is gone for days or weeks at a time. I have discovered that this fast will be truly focusing daily on how to manage my time to balance the day to day needs of my family and my commitment to the Lord each month.

Picking up Daddy

6. I am so bad about blogging! My husband and I sat and talked about this for a long time last night. Sometimes I am bad about blogging because I have a hard time making the time to sit down and do it with... well... life (insert 5 adorable children here). And sometimes Satan is just really attacking. I pray the Lord gives me discernment when to share and when not to... and that the focus always stays on Him.

Some months are harder than others for one reason or another... time management was my arch nemesis this month.