Me Month: Day 25

I may or may not have cheated. I have the guilty feeling, so I am pretty sure that implies that I did. It’s the food!!! Why, oh why, do I struggle so much with food!?!!? I didn’t go in to it with the intention to cheat. While away on my girl’s weekend I had a granola bar with chocolate chips in it for a snack. That didn’t feel like cheating. I said no “desserts” or soda during the week. I would never choose a granola bar as a dessert, therefore… no guilt. Well, I have been eating a LOT of popcorn this month (because sugar treats are out of the question)… I had been adding rasins to them as sort of my "sweet" aspect to the sweet and salty combo. Well... I found a opened bag of M&Ms that a child (or possibly Satan.. I kid... kind of... :)) had left on the counter, so I added about 15 M&Ms to my ex-large bowl of popcorn.  It really didn’t feel like cheating until I got to the end… there were 3-4 lonely M&Ms left… no popcorn… and I ate them in all of their chocolatey goodness… and then... the guilt.

Here is the thing… this fasting process, when all said and done, will have consumed 11 months of my life (9 months of fasting with a week break in between each one). I don’t want to walk away from it knowing I didn’t give it 100% of my effort. I know it was 4 M&Ms… and that doesn’t make this all for not… but I just don’t want to become lazy or start justifying things in the final stretch. I know I have said it a million times, but this experience has truly done a number on my life. I feel closer to God than I have ever felt in my life… yet I feel I have distanced myself from people. So if you are a reader of this blog… will you pray for me? Pray that I do these final months of the fast to the best of my ability, and that God is glorified through the process. Pray that I learn all He would have me to learn, and share it to the best of my ability.

Thanks for joining me on this journey!