5 Things I Like About Living Here...

I’m going to be super real here… the title of this blog was going to be “101 Reasons I Hate Living Here”. I am in week three of this gig, and let me tell ya… I am struggling… hardcore. I have cried every single day since I have left. Some days I get by with a few silent tears, and some day it is the full on ugly cry. When you know ZERO people to the place you move… well… it just stinks. There are so many things that I don’t know or have to figure out. I know it will all be ok some day, I mean people move ALL. THE. TIME. And they survive and eventually even thrive, so I know I can do this… but today was a really hard, weepy, full on ugly cry (multiple times) kind of day. 

So I looked up “thankful” in my Bible’s index. Surprisingly there was only one verse. Hebrews 12:28. I know there are tons of things in the Bible about being thankful, giving thanks, or thanksgiving… (which is what all the tons of verses are actually under)but just the one for Thankful. 

 Hebrews 12:28- Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, 

So I guess if Jesus is willing to die a horrific death to ensure that I can “receive a kingdom that cannot be shaken”… I can choose to be thankful.

So on that note…

101… no wait… 25… not there yet… 10… eh… let’s go with…

5 Things I Like About Living Here

1.     There is a super cool Amish market that sells amazing produce, just 5 minutes from my house.

2.    The grocery store chain, Giant, has a money saving program with Shell gas station.  Did just regular grocery shopping and now I get to save 20 cents a gallon on gas. The more groceries I buy… the more I save on gas.

3.    My kids have a big yard and a flat driveway… they have never had that and they are thoroughly enjoying it.

4.    We are close to the beach.

5.    I have a lot less stuff in boxes today than I had a week ago… and that can only get better as time goes on.

I’m sure there are 101 reasons to love this place; I’m just not there yet. I know a lot of this is about attitude… and I don’t always have a good one. Sometimes I just look/think about all the things I miss and don’t have, but I know there are going to be so many wonderful things that come with this move. It is just hard right now. God is faithful, and I know He’s got a plan… and it’s a good one. I’m trusting that He has us here for a great reason… I just don’t know what it is yet. 

Right now it feels like the only reason I am here is because I want to stay married… to the guy that moved here… I am kind of glad he picked me and stuck with me this long, so I guess I’ll stick it out. :) 

This is a hard start to the journey… but a journey none the less.

Thanks for joining me on the journey!

We are here and I have a Computer!

We are here!

So it has been a couple weeks (almost 4) with no computer… just my phone, so I haven’t been writing.  There is good and bad to that. The good: you guys didn’t get and emotional, weepy blogpost everyday for the first week and a half we were here… I was sick, sad… and it was rough. So I guess I spared you all from falling into deep depression along side me… you’re welcome. :) The bad news is: you are about to get a long (yet abbreviated, since it is 2 weeks of “happenings”)blogpost that is flooded with pictures!

The Trip Here:

Surprisingly… way easier than I thought. The kids did great in the car, and so did Lily. She spent most of her time standing with her head on Eric’s shoulder (which he didn’t seem to mind).  We took 2.5 days to get here… so only about 4,500 “Are we there yet?” phrases were uttered in that time. :) Addi was still sick from a UTI on the first day, but to her normal self by the next day. Landen’s tooth that was fixed before we left got infected on the last day of travel… more to come later on that. But other than that, smooth sailing. I cried a little everyday, but that is just the normal right now, so I won’t put too much emphasis on it. 

Week One:

The kids are doing GREAT! They have taken it on like a new awesome adventure. I am so thankful for that. There have been several times mentioned about people they miss, but thus far, no tears. There are kids next door that they have become instant friends with, which helps. We live in the country now (hard to imagine since we are moving to “D.C.”) which comes with lots of wildlife and bugs. They love that deer come into our yard almost every single day (usually during breakfast or dinner). They have caught, kept for a day, and released 2 turtles now. Blackjack and Little Boxer… turtles really enjoy grapes in case you need a “go to” food for your next turtle. :)

The boxes seem to be multiplying over night. I have been sick, so the unpacking is going rather slowly. Eric is taking care of all the big projects and assembling things. The kids are making things work and trying to make it feel like home, even with minimal boxes unpacked. 

When we got to the box with money jars, the kids were dying to spend some money they hadn’t seen in a month. So while I was grocery shopping, they went with dad to spend their money.  Sending them with Dad to spend money, that was not my wisest decision. Dads sometimes like to encourage things that Moms have to be the enforcer of. So the boys bought sling shots. Lord help me. But they love them and they are keeping them busy. Addi bought a baby and named her Chloe and totes her around everywhere. Eleni is saving for a bike.  The packing paper is getting a lot of good use. We have rabbit targets for the slingshot enthusiasts and an unending amount of paper for the girl that will draw rainbows until her arms fall off.

So when you know zero people in a town you just moved to and you have a kid that has a hurting, infected tooth/teeth… you just start driving around looking for a pediatric dentist, make sure they are in your network, and pray like crazy that they will do a good job. Long story short, we found a place and I super love it. Very kid friendly, and the dentist never once made me feel like a horrible parent… which is a huge plus. They have movies in the ceiling and nitrous oxide… what more could a kid ask for. :)

Week Two:

We went to church. It is really hard to find a new church when you come from somewhere you love. We are having trouble finding a Christian church in our area that doesn’t have some sort of denomination attached to it. So you all can be praying for us to find a good church home, that will be key to us/me feeling at home I think.  We had a couple with kids come say hello to us, and then the next day ran into them at the library. Totally divine intervention…  God knows that we need to make connections, so He so perfectly orchestrates that for us. 

The Calvary arrived on Monday night. Eric’s dad flew in to help with some big projects that I couldn’t do. Well… I could… but I don’t know that I would still be married if I did. We were super blessed to get a playground for free! One of those, you come pick it up and move it and it’s yours. So I helped with the take down/load on the trailer part… that was enough to know I should not help with the rebuilding/restructuring of the new play set.  So Papa was here and helped with all the big projects for the week. It was hard to see him go. Not going to lie… there were tears shed. 

We had a little break (or made a little break time) for the kids to enjoy the “beach” for a bit.  Its not the ocean, it’s the bay. But it has sand and water, and that is all they want. So happy kids is what we wanted… we had them. 

The kids are writing friends and loved ones to tell them about their new adventures and how much they miss them. I am trying to hold it together. :)

Slowly but surely things are getting unpacked and in their new spot. I’m feeling better this week, which really helps.  Back to a morning devotional , not eating out all the time, and exercise routine also helps. It is amazing how God is so great to literally put in words for me to read, exactly what I need to hear at that time. I am struggling. This is way harder than I thought it would be. I have not had a day go by that I have not cried since we pulled out of the driveway. But I know this… God is an amazing God that has an amazing plan. It is my responsibility to embrace it, and make the journey part amazing. 

 Thanks for joining me on the journey!

A Look Back… and a Step (begrudgingly)Forward.

I am far enough removed from the year of fasting that I can look back and reflect with perspective. I know I said it a million times during the process… but it truly was the most difficult and most amazing year.  

When my journey ended I received a couple of things that help me with the daily reminder of the journey that I have been through and the journey I am on. I received a beautiful journey necklace that never comes off my neck. This is a daily reminder when I look in the mirror and see the reflection, or when I am doing jumping jacks and it is pounding up and down on my chest, or one of my children is sitting in my lap playing with it dangling around my neck… life is a journey, every part of it. No matter what part of life I am thoroughly enjoying or what part I am struggling through… it is a journey and I am on it.

 I also received the awesome gift of my entire journey (all the blog posts and pictures from beginning to end) in a hard back book. I have read through it twice… cover to cover. The first time there were lots of tears. It truly was one of the most difficult years of my life.  But when I read through it again, it was read with such a heart of gratitude and thanksgiving.  I learned so much about myself during that year. I have a deeper, closer, more personal relationship with the Lord than I ever dreamed possible because of the crazy notion to fast 9 areas of my life… I had no idea what was in store.

I have had several people ask me if I would do it again, or if I would recommend someone else to do it. That is such a hard question to answer. I think fasting should come with a warning label that reads like this: SATAN IS ABOUT TO ATTACK YOU HARDCORE!!! JESUS WILL GET YOU THROUGH… BUT HANG ON FOR DEAR LIFE!!! I think if I knew how hard the year was going to be, how much Satan was going to attack during the process… I would have never started. During the 10 months of fasting I went through some stuff! Along with all the normal challenges of life that come with being a wife, mother, and woman… I had a brain tumor come and go and come again, I had friendships fade away, I lost a baby, I lost my grandpa, I doubted who I was and what God wanted me to be,  and I learned a lot of painful truths about myself. 

But I can honestly say (5 months later) that I am glad I weathered the storm, because the reward was so very, very sweet.  I did learn so many things about myself last year. And yes, some of them were difficult to hear/learn, but I am a better person for it. God did some amazing works through this fasting process, not only with me but all sorts of people in my life. I got to learn about the areas that have strong holds in my life, and how God will get me through anything! I got to know my kids and husband on an entirely differently level… and that is something that I can’t even put into words how grateful I am to have experienced. I got to run a marathon, I made new friends and deepened some amazing friendships, I had opportunities to share the love of Jesus… opportunities that were always there and I never even knew it. I was blessed to hear some AMAZING Christian speakers and meet my inspiration for the fast, Jen Hatmaker.  I got to watch my son accept Jesus as his Lord and Savior and take him on in baptism. I got to watch my family grow and blossom in a way I didn’t know was possible. And I got to watch 4 little people with $50 and a HUGE dream build a fresh water well to supply drinking water for an entire village in Africa in 7 short weeks. 

 There are so many blessings I received from the process… I am so glad I didn’t know the struggle it would take to get through it, because I don’t know that I would have trusted the Lord enough to get me through it. And I guess that I what I take away from this. I can trust the Lord has a plan. No matter the storm or struggle I am in, He has a plan and it is the right one… so I will trust Him.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

I am not a blogger. I am just a girl on a journey. Just like all of you out there… we are all on our own journey. And now that I have completed (and even repeated some) of the fasting journey, there is always a new journey to be had. My next journey starts in just a few short hours when the moving truck shows up at my door. I know God has a plan, and even though I don’t know what it is, and right now I really don’t like it, I trust Him fully. 

So here it goes … Thanks for joining me on the journey!

Prayer Month: Day 28

Well… it’s over. It was a long, emotional, prayerful day with a very anticlimactic end as I sat at 11pm and prayed for my marriage during the credits of a Harry Potter movie. I’m not sure whether to be relieved or sad. It was such an insanely difficult year with so many trials and heartache… but I also learned more about myself (both good and bad) and grew closer to God than I ever have before in my life.

I also thought I would have some great new adventure that God presented to me as the “next” thing, but He didn’t (sorry for all those disappointed… I was a tad bummed to). I will say that He has made some things very clear. Certain people to reach out to (and most of the time this is not the fun hang out with on the weekends kind of people… it is the hard, probably seems awkward, maybe even fear of being physically hurt kind of situations), or things/situations/people to continue to daily lift up in prayer. Things from EVERY SINGLE MONTH of fasting that improved me that I should continue on with... or start again if I have stopped while focusing on another area.

I have some things that God is nudging me to do… but they are a lot of things that are putting my iron in the fire and wait to see where God takes it. I don’t like sitting and waiting or not having a detailed plan lined out (ask my husband… this is painfully true), but that is what God has asked me to do… so I will.

I am going to spend sometime over the next week or so re-reading all my journal entries over the last 11 months.  I hope to come back and write a reflective entry at some point. This has been a year of tremendous growth, and I appreciate all of you that have joined me on this wild ride. I hope that in some way it has made you think, or challenged you, or encouraged you in your relationship with God. Thank you so much for taking time out of your lives to join me on this amazing journey. It means more than you will ever know.

 So whether you eat, or drink, or give up electronics, give away possessions, wear 9 articles of clothing, eat only fruit, veggies, and meat, recycle everything, limit your spending, evaluate all roles in your life, take care of your physical and spiritual health, or pause 7 times a day to pray… or whatever you do, DO IT ALL for the glory of God. (ok… maybe not exactly scriptural… but now you get to read the verse how I read it. :)) 1 Corinthians 10:31